STRESS!!!!

When I am undergoing large amounts of stress I tend to turn to different things. 

Emotional stress – I admit it, I’m a foodie.  Chocolate, cheesecake, éclairs, or something equally as sweet and fattening. 

Physical stress I tend to turn to something physical such as exercise, cleaning (the deep down and dirty kind – like scrubbing the grout with toothbrush while simultaneously wiping down the walls and ceilings). 

Financial stress usually turns me to music – I’m a violinist and I like to play things like Vivaldi, Mozart (the Nachtmusik suite always gets the blood pumping and the stress and anger worked out). 

You see, I’m a multi-faceted person with a lot of layers and different ways of expressing myself.

How does my Dearly Departed deal with stress?

Emotional Stress – Dungeons.

Physical Stress – Ganking – usually rogue vs. alliance, and yes, he’s usually a very strong rouge hunter. (to read the definition go here: http://www.wowwiki.com/Gank)

Financial Stress – Instances (to gain high level items which he then makes a fortune on in the auction house)

He too is multi faceted.

I’m doing something today that every Widow dreams of…

I’m reformatting the computer and deleting “the game”. 

Does this mean I’m no longer a widow?

Of course not – the Dearly Departed has a laptop now which makes his “candy” taste so much better.  But still – I get to remove the offending software from my previously pristine desktop computer.

I know it isn’t removing “the game” from my life entirely, but something inside me is just a little bit giddy thinking about deleting “the game”.

I might just install it again after we reformat the hard drive just so that if I am having a moment of frustration, I can go and delete it again.

It’d be a great moment of vindication and therapy.

“Caution, do you really want to delete ‘WoW’?”

Yes.  Yes I do. 

Much better.

Moving

The Dearly Departed and I are in the middle of purchasing a new home and moving.  In the process he’s cut down his “candy” intake drastically.

The upside – there’s fewer contentious moments in our home that are “WoW” related.

The Downside – we are both exhausted from painting, cleaning, moving, packing, it leaves little time for much else.

We can’t win ‘em all.

Readership…

I have found that the majority of my readers are not actual widows themselves but actually most belong to one of two groupings.

1) Former WoW players themselves recently resurrected from their “Dearly Departed” status.

or

2) Current “dearly departed” players, seeking to understand their loved ones frustration and anger with the amount of time they spend on “the game”.

While I absolutely welcome both groups mentioned above,  I do feel the need to say this.  The first step to overcoming is to realize that you have a problem.  If you are in the second group mentioned above – you are the ones of whom I speak.  If your internet searches on “candy” have brought you to a blog written by a bone-fide “widow” – and you continued to read (after wiping the incredulous look off of your face upon realizing that yes, there are other “widows” out there – it isn’t just your significant loved one who feels left behind by “the game”) then the time has come to perhaps seriously look into your time spent on “the game” and time spent in – we’ll call it “the real world”.

You may not think you spend very much time playing “the game” – that’s one thing it does, it sucks you into a space –time continuum (that’s for you “trekkers” out there) – and you lose all track of time.  Here’s a little test you can take to see how much time you’ve spent in the “world”. 

Open your chat window within the game.

type /played

hit enter.

If you get a message that states something to the effect of – “most of your natural adult life” or “what, you actually thought you did something else  with your time?” -  then it’s probably time to take a serious review of how you spend your daily hours.

This is just a suggestion -  No need to get testy with me. (read the disclaimer).

Now, if you are in the first group mentioned… I’m proud of you.  You are on the road to recovery, and your widow will thank you.

For the widows that do read this blog – you still are not alone – but knowing that the above two groups are searching us out I feel there is still hope. 

Addictions

It’s been pointed out to me recently that the word “addiction” should never be used in a light manner in describing those who play “the game” beyond normal, reasonable limits.  Addictions should never be used in the way in which I use it in this site.  Alluding to the fact that I no longer see my husband when he’s playing “the game” by calling him my “dearly departed” was extremely insensitive.  Therefore, I’m changing the terminology that I’ll be using from this point forward – after all, I must try to be a little more sensitive to my readers.

I will no longer refer to “the game” as his “addiction” it’s now going to be called “candy”.

While I don’t want to be insensitive to those who are “chocoholics”, have an insatiable “sweet tooth”, or for those “car nuts” out there,  I do feel the need to be a little more sensitive to those who have an equally serious but not fatal disease which leaves them with the inability to recognize humor in any circumstance - “stickumus upus the buttomus”.

Also, I’ll be including a sticky post with definitions and descriptions to the terms I’ll use through out this site – lest not to offend those who don’t take the time to read the carefully worded disclaimers, or who don’t have the common sense to realize that this blog is in jest – my own way of coping with my husband’s frequent and overuse of “the game”.

Thank you to those who read, enjoy and sympathize with the Widows of Warcraft.  And for everyone else, who doesn’t enjoy this site – I apologize for your inability to take a joke aimed at your precious “game”.  If you really aren’t as immersed in this game as you say you are not – then how did you find this site?  Searching for Candy on the internet again?

Really.

An Open Letter to Althonis, Level 80 Night Elf Druid

Dear Althonis,

I do so very much appreciate your comments to my post – “So He’s a  Football Widower”.  You are correct in assuming I didn’t do much research outside of my own observations within my own situation.  The truth is, I’m not dedicating the time and effort into the WoW universe that you so obviously have.

This site as noted below in the disclaimer is my own therapy.  I do enjoy seeing both sides of the story, and also understand that there are many extremes when it comes to those that play WoW and those that live WoW.  My Dearly Departed falls somewhere in the middle with the occasional lean to the extreme.  My blog is for those of us that fall somewhere in the middle – a form of entertainment, a way to vent frustrations.  It is also satire – a subtle form of comedy obviously lost on people such as yourself.

I am sorry that you took offense to my comments, and even more deeply sorry that you failed to see the humor.  I suggest you take a bit of advice from one of the other more serious Online WOW Widow forums - “Stop Leveling, and Start Living”.  I’d also suggest a long talk with your own significant loved one and see what their feelings are on this topic.  It may be an enlightening moment for you both.

I am going to cut this communication short now, as I have more important matters to attend to.  The NFL season starts on Thursday, and I need to set my fantasy line up.

Thank you,
The Widow

So He’s a football Widower …

I am a WOW widow.  We all know that.  He’s a football Widower. Yes that’s right, I’m addicted to Football.  I love the game.  The athleticism, the skill – the excitement…   Here’s why I say my addiction is a little bit less annoying than the WOW addiction of my Dearly Departed.

1) Foobtall season only lasts a few months out of the year. Five to be exact.

2) During those five months, games only occur on Saturday, Sunday and Monday with the occasional Thursday.

3) Football is a participation sport – one that many people in a room can watch and enjoy together – seriously, when was the last time we all crowded around the computer and shouted “Go (insert character name here) Go!  Cast that magic spell and beat those rouge Hunters!”  It really doesn’t have the same sense of excitement does it?

4) If my children share my same passion for football (and they do) – this is something we can use to actually get out of the house together and learn participation and sportsmanship.  (My ten year old Daughter is an AMAZING running back.)

and finally

5)  Football comes with some really great snacks.  That’s right, I can watch a game and eat fun finger foods like 7 layer bean dip, hot wings, nachos, and Doritos – and I don’t even have to worry about getting the computer dirty.

Business Trip – Shmisiness Trip…

Okay, so the Dearly Departed was called out of town suddenly on business.  Since BlizzCon was last weekend, I’m inclined to believe him that he really is on a business trip…  The amount of actual work completed though…well, let’s just say he did take *both* his laptops with him.

(Granted, there is a lot of down time in the evening hours after all the actual work is done – and he does have nothing else to do after work, so I guess a little WOW is okay, just this once… just don’t tell him I said that.)